“When you’ve…walked through that doorway of opportunity, you do not slam it shut behind you. You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.”  ~ Michelle Obama

Regardless of your politics, it’s impossible to deny the truth of Mrs. Obama’s recent statement. It’s a truth that all of us who work in healthcare need to keep in mind. As you know, there is an epidemic of incivility racing through healthcare workplaces everywhere. Get a group of nurses together and, before long, the personal experiences with incivility come out:

“My first nursing job was in a toxic environment.  I was warned about the ‘strong personalities’ there and that I would need to learn to ‘stand my ground’ to succeed.  The worst offenders were two experienced, middle-aged male nurses who called themselves ‘silverbacks.’ They felt it was their responsibility to weed out the new, young nurses with disrespect and harassment. Those who could cut it were worthy of working there; those who could not had no choice but to leave.”

“Every morning, the charge nurse lined up us new grads and asked, ‘Ok, who’s gonna cry today?’ It was awful. Since I am not the type of gal to cry at work, I had an immediate target on me.  This nurse went nose-to-nose with me in front of all my co-workers and told me it was going to be her mission to make sure I failed at my job.”

“When I started my first job, there was an experienced nurse who terrified me—and that was 20 years ago.  I still remember her clearly and, when I think about her, I feel like a shaky new grad all over again.”

Some nurses might claim to have the answer to this issue, but their “solutions” only serve to promote more incivility:

“I think to avoid getting ‘eaten,’ new nurses have to act like clean slates and really listen to what their experienced colleagues say. We have been around the block and back and can dazzle them with the information stored in our brains.”

“I am harder on new employees who can’t admit when they don’t know what they are doing. They are very easy to spot and will harm patients if I don’t knock their pride down a notch or two.”

“There are levels in nursing (CNA, LPN, RN, head nurse, supervisor) and you have to play the levels — it’s a skill and it’s one of the most important skills not taught in nursing school. You have to prove that you respect the levels below you, and you have to be humble to the levels above. If you get it wrong, you’re sunk.”

All of the above statements came from experienced nurses. Some of them have worked as a nurse for 30 years or more. While they may not look at it this way, they were given the opportunity to make their mark on the healthcare field. They chose their career paths among the countless possibilities open to nurses. The same goes for you and me. We “walked through the doorway of opportunity” and have made our career choices, practicing nursing in our preferred settings. Now, we must be careful not to “slam the door shut behind us.”

It’s vital that we extend our hands to new grads, as they are the future of healthcare. Here are a few suggestions for how we can accomplish this:

• Take personal responsibility for becoming a better preceptor, mentor or manager. If you never received training specific to your leadership role, seek out resources. Look for seminars, online training or books that might expand your leadership skills. If you know someone who excels as a leader, ask for words of wisdom on how to be a better mentor.

• Forget about the past. Just because you may have been hazed as a new grad doesn’t mean you have to run roughshod over today’s young nurses. Consider this: the new grads you are training today may be the nurses who care for you or your loved ones in the future. So share your skills and knowledge with them in a manner that exudes workplace civility.

• Stay excited about change. Young nurses may have learned different patient care techniques and strategies. Before you dismiss their ideas out of hand, think about all the changes that have taken place in healthcare since your first day as a nurse. Maybe some of your own patient care ideas have been implemented over the years. So rather than feeling “put out” or defensive when a new nurse questions your work, take a moment to consider that there may indeed be a better way of doing something.

You probably have other ideas for how we can “reach back” and give new nurses the best chance to succeed in their chosen field…and we’d love to hear them! So, please add your comments below. All of us experienced nurses have the power to eradicate that old “nurses eat their young” saying. Let’s turn it around so that the widespread perception becomes “nurses nurture their young.” Are you with me?