If you’re like most nurses, you are well-trained in goal setting. You know that, to be meaningful, goals must be both specific and measurable. Have you ever considered that the same is true of compliments? In general, specific and measurable compliments accomplish two things: 1) they demonstrate your sincerity to the recipient; and 2) they help the person feel deserving of the praise.
Think about it. You’ve probably had a friend say to you, “You look nice today.” While that’s a kind thing to say, a broad compliment like that opens the door to negative thoughts like, “Gosh, does that mean that I usually look like a mess?” or “She doesn’t really mean that.” or “She probably says that to everyone.” It’s easy to doubt the sincerity of the compliment and/or brush it off as undeserved.
Let’s make that same compliment specific and measurable. Your friend says to you, “I really like that color on you. It makes your eyes pop.” Hearing distinct feedback like that usually leads to positive thoughts such as, “Wow, I should look for more clothes this color.” or “She really means that.” or “It’s nice that she took the time to notice what I was wearing.”
It’s clear that being conscious of how you word your compliments and praise is important. The same holds true in the workplace. For example, Sandy, an RN, wanted to express her appreciation to Sam, a CNA who had gone out of his way to help her with a patient:
Sandy says, “Sam, you were a lifesaver today. Thanks!” While Sam says, “You’re welcome,” inside he is thinking, “Today? She appreciates my help today? What about every other day?”
Now look at the difference it makes to change the wording to make the praise both specific and measurable:
Sandy says, “Sam, you were a lifesaver with Mr. Reynolds. I was so impressed that you seemed to know what he needed before he said a word. You obviously pay close attention to your patients’ nonverbal cues.”
Admittedly, being specific in your appreciation of your staff and/or co-workers takes more time than just firing off a quick “thank you.” But, try it and see if you notice a difference in how your words are received. Remember Newton’s Third Law? For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, by giving compliments that demonstrate your thoughtfulness and respect for others, you should see an equal response coming back your way.
Need a little help getting started? Here are some simple phrases, courtesy of writer and motivational speaker, Glenn Van Ekeren:
- “I appreciate the way you…”
- “Thanks for going all out when you…”
- “One of the things I enjoy most about you is…”
- “Our team couldn’t be successful without your…”
- “You did an outstanding job of…”
- “It’s evident that you have the ability to…”
- “I admire the way you take the time to…”
- “What a great idea you had to…”
- “You are doing a top-notch job of…”
Until next time, thanks so much for taking time out of your day to read this article!
Linda
